What Surprised Me About Mom Life

I love being a mom. I love the way Juliet smiles at me first thing in the morning. I love getting to bring her with me everywhere. I love watching her explore life and new things. I love the way she wraps her hands around my fingers. I love watching her play with her toys. Of course I love to dress her up and take cute pictures of her (DUH!). I love getting to pray for the life she has ahead of her. I love so many things about being a mom that I could talk about it for hours. But I think too often people only share the good parts of motherhood and often neglect to share the hard parts. I know on Instagram my life can look picture perfect, but I struggle too! I want to share the whole truth with you so that If you share my struggles, you will know that you are not alone!

I've wanted to be a mom my whole life. I was the little girl that absolutely loved playing with baby dolls (far beyond the age that is considered normal). I couldn't wait to have kids that were mine, and to start a family with my husband. I spent the entire 9 months I was pregnant dreaming of everything I would do with my baby and how much fun it would all be. Don't get me wrong. I'm not naive enough to think it would be as easy as taking care of a baby doll! I knew that she would require a lot of time and attention, but there were a few things that surprised me. 

I didn't realize was the amount of time and energy everything takes! I didn't realize how draining it would be to try to take care of her when she's fussy or how emotionally exhausting it would be to listen to her cry every single time we got in the car. Especially as a new mom it hurts your heart to hear your baby cry. I knew she would cry but I thought that I would easily be able to calm her down. I didn't realize that sometimes she would cry constantly for no reason at all! On days where Juliet is really fussy and I'm emotionally drained I try to remind myself that God won't give me more than I can handle. Group 1 Crew has a song called "He Said," During tough days there is a verse that plays in my head on repeat. It goes like this, "I won't give you more, more than you can take. And I might let you bend, but I won't let you break." I try to remember that every difficult situation is God bending me to make me better! So whatever you're dealing with, find your go to song that lifts you up, put a smile on your face and know that it only gets better!  Don't forget to cherish these moments while you can, the good and the bad. Time goes by so fast with a baby and once the moment is gone you will wish you had it back!

The other thing that surprised me was the amount of mom guilt I constantly feel. If I take time to take a shower and get ready instead of spending time with my baby while she's awake, I feel like a bad mom. If she has a bad day where she is fussy all day, I feel like it's my fault. When she struggled with breastfeeding, I thought it was my fault. She hates tummy time and I feel awful watching her scream while doing it. So I haven't been great about pushing her to do as much tummy time as she should. I feel guilty while she cries during tummy time but then I feel guilty when she's not getting strong enough because she's not doing enough of it. I can't win, but I do my best to fight it. I've found that it helps to check myself with my husband when I feel guilty. I'll explain what I feel guilty about and ask if he thinks I should feel that way. 99% of the time he laughs and tells me that I'm doing a great job!

Now let's add mom shaming to the mix. As if we don't feel bad enough about ourselves and our parenting decisions already, let's start judging each other. People seriously can't help themselves. Whether its the fact that we bottle feed and use formula or the kind of diaper cream I chose to put on my daughter, everyone has an opinion! Unfortunately you can't do much but shake it off and try to toughen up. 

But by far the hardest part has been the loss of my identity. Something changes when you have a baby. I stopped being Jennie and started being Juliet's mom. Because so much of my time and attention is wrapped up in her, I tend to forget other aspects of who I am. So much of my time is spent taking care of her and worrying about her needs that I often forget to take care of my own!  If this is something you struggle with then please know you are not alone! Remember that it's important to take care of yourself. Your baby can feel what you feel so if you aren't making it a priority to keep yourself happy, it will be difficult to keep your baby happy! My biggest piece of advice is to pick things that you enjoy and make it a priority to do those things. For example, I enjoy doing my hair and makeup, so I try to make it a priority to get myself ready every day while Juliet plays in her activity gym. I also enjoy working on my blog and on my skincare business. So I try to carve out 10 minute increments throughout the day where I can work on those things. If you don't have a hobby or a side gig that you love, I would suggest getting one! It brings a different kind of value and self-worth to your life that you often give up as a mom, especially if you are a stay at home mom like me. 

Don't get me wrong, being a mom has been a lot harder than I expected but it's also been a greater joy than I could have ever imagined. The amount of love I feel for my daughter is unexplainable and unimaginable. It's something I never could have understood prior to her being born. I absolutely love watching her grow and develop. I love the smile that lights up her face when she sees me or Nick. I love the way she cuddles me and talks to me in her baby babble. Being Juliet's mom is my absolute favorite thing in the whole world! But I'd be lying if I didn't say it's also hard.

If you're a new mommy like me, I would love to hear from you! Being a mom can be hard and I would love to be your cheerleader!